This is a mostly true story of the sexual awakening of a young man -- with the names changed to protect the guilty. It should not be reproduced without the permission of the writer. Comments are welcome at kkmmaa@hotmail.com
The Sexual Awakening of Kane
As
I look back on a lifetime of sexual adventures, I often wonder what events
shaped my sexuality and gave me the appetites I have had for so many years.
Firstly, I should describe myself. Some people think I am attractive - I think
I'm average but I have always had a good body - a combination of genes and gym!
Although I don't believe anyone has to be "gay" or
"straight" I must say I have never met a man I felt sexually
attracted to as much as I am to women but.....never say never. For some reason,
gay or bi men have always seemed to find me very attractive -- probably
more so than women.
When I
was about 13 the boy who lived next door and I were pretty good friends. He was
about a year older than I but a bit smaller. He had a twin sister. I was
always bigger than average for my age. As I'm now just over 6' and the
average height for men is about 5'10" I guess I still am. When I
was 13 though, I was quite precocious, big for my age and very horny. I'll
never forget the first time I came. I was lying in the bath reliving an
experience I had had with my female cousin, Wendy, a few years earlier - as I
often did. She is two years older than I and we used to sleep together when
she stayed over. One night we were playing "tickle one another's
back". This was a very pleasant experience where one person would lie on
their tummy and count to 500 while the other tickled their back under their
pajama top. I have been addicted to the feel of fingertips gently caressing my
skin ever since. I did Wendy first and then it was my
turn. Instead of just staying on my back, this time she strayed to my
bottom, pushing her hand under my pajama pants. Soon I was lying on an
aching "stiffy" as we called them in those days. It felt so good that
I lost all inhibitions and started tickling her back and bottom at the same
time - not easy but possible. Then I couldn't help myself - I figured that she
had crossed a certain line so I asked if we could turn over. She didn't answer
but rolled over onto her back. I did the same.
I should
mention that it was pretty dark and not a word had been spoken except my
request to turn over. I was still nervous so I just followed her lead. We had
both opened our pajama tops and pushed our pants down around our ankles. At 13,
Wendy had started developing breasts and this was a great opportunity to get a
feel of them. I noticed that her nipples stuck out a lot after I caressed them
and she was breathing funny but, at 11, I wasn't sure what was happening. I did
notice that little moans of approval escaped her lips as my touch passed over
them so I began to concentrate on them, circling them and even pulling on them
gently. As she was on my left, I was turned slightly towards her and
stroking her chest and tummy with my right hand. Her fingertips on my chest
felt divine but I was hoping she would go lower. When her hand began to get
lower on my tummy, I lay back and used my left hand to touch her from the belly
button down. I remember worrying for a moment if my cock was normal. I had seen
one of my friends' stiffy a few moths earlier and it still looked like a little
boy's. Mine had grown in length and thickness and curved upwards towards my
belly button whereas his was thin and pale and stuck straight out. I didn't
know it then but what I felt was "horny" - and that caused me to just
go with the flow - something which has gotten me in to trouble many times
since!
I can't
describe the pleasure I felt when her fingertips first made contact with my
cock. I know it jerked and I heard her muffled giggle. A delicious tingle ran
down my cock though my balls and spread though my abdomen. She continued on
over my cock and down to my balls. I parted my legs and then her hand wandered
up again to the head of my cock. I was in paradise as fingertips continued to
lightly caress me from cock head to perineum - over and over. At the same
time I had followed her lead and let my fingers wander down over her sparsely
haired mound to the top of her lips. I hesitated there as I had no idea what to
do next. Wendy tilted her pelvis slightly, indicating that I should go further.
My middle finger then went straight downwards along her crease as my other
fingers grazed her hairless lips. I went as low as I could reach and then
came back up making my touch as light and slow as possible to match hers. I had
seen between a girl's legs before but this was my first real touch. I was
enthralled -- especially with her reactions. After a few strokes I noticed that
her hips were moving in time with my touch and she seemed to be trying to
increase the pressure of my fingers on her. Her breathing had become even
louder and a bit ragged. I thought she must be sweating as my fingers
started to get slightly wet from something of a thicker consistency
than pee and her lips seemed to have become swollen. I had no
idea that Wendy was getting very turned on.
Eventually, despite
the pleasure I was feeling and the fascinating experience of touching a
"front-bottom" for the first time, I dozed off. I was awoken briefly
a short time later by Wendy's stifled moans and jerking around on the bed. She
was holding my hand -- which had gone limp when I fell asleep -- and pushing it
hard against the top of her slit. It wasn't until years later I realized that
she had used my hand to masturbate after I fell asleep. After her shaking
eventually subsided she pushed my hand away, pulled her pajamas together and
turned on her side away from me. We never repeated the event and never spoke
about it.
So, almost
every time I had a bath after that night, I tried to relive it and
recreate the feeling of Wendy's fingertips on my cock and balls. I would
lie in the bath with my cock just below the surface of the water and pass the
face washer gently over it. The floating motion of the washer would create a
similar lightness of touch as her fingers. One night almost two years
later, the feeling became more and more intense. I started holding the
washer at both ends and increased the friction as it felt better and better. My
cock wasn't just tingling any more - the pleasure was quite intense. My hips
started thrusting up out of the water to increase the friction even more.
Suddenly, the pleasure became almost unbearably intense and, without knowing
what was happening, I was cumming. Great spurts of whitish liquid came squirting
out of my cock and landed on my chest. Once the wonderful spasms of pleasure
died down I was mortified. What on earth had happened? What was all that
stuff? Would mum find out? What about the water with all that "stuff" floating
in it? Then I calmed down as I remembered the rudimentary information in the
"birds and bees" book my mother had given me to read. I was on
my way to a life of sexual debauchery!
Every
time I had a bath after that night - which was every night - I repeated
that experience. After a while I gave up on the washer and used a soapy
hand. Then I discovered my dad's hidden stash of girly magazines in the shed. I
would smuggle them into my room and jerk off whilst imagining myself pleasuring
those women. The thing that most turned me on (and still does) more than their
good looks or figures, was any indication that they were horny or enjoying some
kind of sexual pleasure.
Well,
one day Ray (the boy next door) was in my room when no one was home. I got out
the magazines I had smuggled in from the shed and we were looking at them
together - kneeling on the floor side by side with the mags on the bed. As
usual, my cock was as hard as a rock and I was surreptitiously pushing it
into the side of the mattress. Ray must have noticed because he looked at me
and spoke. The conversation went something like this.
"Kane
- does your dick get hard when you look at these pictures?"
"Er...yes.
Why? Does yours."
"Yes."
Long
pause.....
"Do
you ever touch it?"
I didn't
want to reveal my debauchery without knowing if he did.
"Why
- do you?"
"Sort
of."
"What
do you mean 'sort of'?"
"Well
do you?"
"Yes
- sometimes?"
Ray
seemed relieved. "So do I - a lot."
"Me
too."
"What
do you do?"
By this
time I was getting very horny. I was feeling the need to stroke my cock so I
thought I would get the conversation over with. If Ray was disgusted he would
go home and I could get on with it.
"I
kind of rub it - it feels really good. What about you?"
"Were
you rubbing it against the bed just before?"
"Yes."
"Did
it feel good?"
"Yes."
We both
turned back to the pictures. I noticed that Ray was slowly humping the bed now
so I did the same. I saw a girl who looked a bit like his sister.
"Have
you ever seen Bronwyn in the nuddy?"
"Not
properly since we stopped having baths together last year. But now and then I
get a peek."
"Her
boobs are getting big."
"Yeah
- you should see them now."
"Does
she have hair down there?"
"Of
course - don't you?"
"Yep."
We
turned back to the pictures and the girl who looked like Bronwyn was holding
her breasts in both hands. I my mind she was caressing her nipples. My cock
ached for my own expert touch.
As I
pushed my crotch into the bed I noticed Ray was watching me. His hand was
rubbing the bulge in his jeans.
"Do
you want to see what I do when I rub my dick? ....and you can show me."
Even
at this early point in my life the exhibitionist in me came out. The thought of
someone watching me play with my cock sent a twinge right through it.
Ray turned
towards me, undid his belt, unzipped his fly and pushed his jeans down to
below his knees. His slim cock sprung back up from his undies when he pushed
them down. I faced him -- took a deep breath and undid my jeans, pushing them to
my knees. He stared at my cock as it also appeared - pointing upward out of the
top of my undies and almost twice the size of his. I pushed them down and
proudly displayed my erection.
"Jesus
- your dick is huge."
"I
think they all end up about the same size by the time we stop growing," I
said tactfully.
Now we
were facing one another about two feet apart.
"What
do you do? Mine gets a bit sore if I rub it too much."
"I
use this stuff."
I
reached under the mattress and took out the tube of moisturizer my mother had been
complaining about going missing. I had discovered that one needed lubrication
if one was to jerk off twice a day! Reveling in his rapt attention, I smeared
some lotion on my hand and took hold of my cock. I stroked it slowly -
once up to the head and then down to the base making it stand out boldly.
"Can
I have some of that?"
With my
other hand I squeezed a generous amount into his outstretched palm. He began to
stroke himself. I turned to look at the mag again as Ray did but I could see
that out of the corner of his eye he was watching me. Our bodies were
still facing one another. I loved it. Ray moved closer to me "to get a better
look at the mag". Our cock heads were now only inches apart.
"Do
you always go right down to your balls like that?" Rays voice was becoming
shaky and he seemed to have moved closer still.
"Until
I get near the end - then I concentrate on the knob."
The
backs of our fingers touched. Ray was leaning closer. Then the back of his hand
grazed my cock -- a bolt of pleasure ran through me like an electric shock. I
was amazed how much better it felt to have someone else touch it. I let the
back of my hand touch his cock "accidently" too. Soon the accidents
became very frequent and I was concentrating on not cumming. Surely it would be
too much to spurt all that stuff in front of him. I wondered how I was going to
disguise it. Then the pleasure gripped me and I realized that I would love to
spurt cum on him.
"Wow
- does that feel better to you too?"
"Yep"
- I was getting close to cumming so I slowed down. Precum was now oozing freely
from my cock. This also embarrassed me at first until I noticed the same
drooling from his.
We were
no longer pretending to look at the mag. Ray moved closer and our foreheads
were touching as we watched our hands stroke. Without saying a word Ray brought
his cock into contact with mine. I pushed mine down so that the head touched
the head of his. A bolt of electricity went right through me. Soon we were
holding our cocks and rubbing the heads together - no pretence now - just
striving for more pleasure. I was good but not quite enough contact to get us
off.
"Can
I hold yours for a second - just to see if it feels like mine?"
"Sure."
I thought he'd never ask.
We
changed hands. As soon as Ray took hold of my cock I grabbed his. We lasted
seconds. The sensations coming from my cock were so intense I lost all sense of
my surroundings. I heard Ray cry out and saw his cum spurt all over our hands
and bellies. It was amazing that I managed to continue to stroke Ray's erection
as I became engrossed in my own pleasure. I felt him push my hand away and
apply both his hands to my cock. He bent to get a closer look. I exploded.
The first spurt hit him right on the nose - he didn't pull away to avoid the
next three. I was sure I saw him lick some from his lips.
As the
sensations subsided, I began to feel a bit grossed out. I had let a boy jerk me
off - I had jerked him off! Both a little embarrassed, we covered ourselves up
quickly and, sensing my discomfort, Ray went home. For the next few months, every
week or so, Ray and I would start looking at the mags again. At first, almost
pretending that each time was accidental.
Then slowly the relationship changed. Ray was happy to play with my cock and stroke his own with the other. Before long -- by about the fifth time -- he suggested I take all my clothes off and lie on the bed. I could tell he enjoyed looking at and touching my body so I stripped completely and started reading the mags while he just stroked my whole body. I had told him about the episode with Wendy and how good it felt and he strove to recreate that feeling for me. The next time, I noticed a different feeling. After stroking me all over for ages and making my cock rock hard, Ray began sucking me. This was another revelation as the pleasure was even better and the intensity of my orgasm was the best I had ever experienced. He swallowed every drop and seemed to revel in it. I soon realized that Ray preferred boys and that he had a crush on me. He would adore my body for ages doing anything he could to give me pleasure. At first I felt a little selfish, so I would jerk him off while he sucked me even though he said it wasn't necessary. He knew I preferred girls and that the relationship wouldn't last but he was happy to enjoy the time we had together. Then, a few months later I got a girlfriend and everything changed.