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Love From
The Ashes
Chapter 15 –
Part B
"Last Call"
This fire
has been a rough one. All the crew
fighting the fire in that bedroom have been hit hard by the experience and the
sights in that bedroom's closet. There
are standards that the Chief has to follow, and in situations like this, the
firefighters who were in the closet must undergo counseling. He wants to make sure that they all know it,
too. He gathers everyone together before
leaving the scene.
"As everyone
knows, this fire was not a hard one. We
didn't save everyone; some of our crew fought the fire in that bedroom. My hat goes off to them. We will be offering the family counseling,
but for the crew in that bedroom, I am ordering that you go through
counseling. Don't think you can get away
from going! You will go, and you will go
until the counselor feels that you don't need their services anymore. Do you
all understand? Now go home to your
loved ones, and if you believe, pray for the family, the kids, and each other."
The chief
stopped talking and came down and personally hugged his crew one at a
time. When he gets to Jamie, he smiles:
"Go home to
Cameron!"
Chief pats
him on the back and then moves on to the next person. When everyone on the truck with Jamie is
ready, they load up and return to the station.
***
Jamie has
taken a long time to get home. When he gets
home, Jamie sits in the car and takes a deep breath. He opens the car door. The light in the living room is on, meaning
Cameron is still awake.
`I hope he
doesn't want to talk.'
Jamie
doesn't know if he can discuss the fire and the deaths. It's too early for that. On top of the emotions, Jamie is tired and
just wants to fall asleep in his bed. Jamie gets out of the car and walks up to
the house.
`Those
kids will never open the door to their house again.'
Jamie's
thoughts are all over the place right now.
He reaches out for the door and pauses.
He looks up into the night sky and looks at the moon.
"I'm
sorry...sorry!"
He says as
he opens the door. Despite wanting to go
lie down, when
he sees Cameron on the couch, he walks right to him. Cameron immediately hugs his guy and doesn't
let go till he feels Jamie relax. Jamie
is softly crying. Jamie rarely cries
like this after a fire, but Cameron understands where the tears are coming from
and is willing to stand there until the sun rises.
"Do you want
to sit?"
Cam whispers
into Jamie's ear. Jamie says nothing;
instead, he leads Jamie to the bedroom.
Cameron helps Jamie strip down for bed.
Once Jamie is in his underwear, he gets into bed. He gets into a fetal position and starts to
softly cry. His crying is upsetting
Princess, who manages to slip past Cameron.
She is at the foot of the bed.
Jamie quiets his crying so he can speak with Cameron.
"Please put
her up with me."
Cameron has
no problem having Princess up in the bed.
He picks her up and places her on the bed. In a heartbeat, Princess is cuddled up next
to Jamie. She is doing everything she
can to try to make him feel better. She
is even crying with him. Cameron gets
into bed with his man. He spoons up next
to his man. Cameron would like to talk to him about the fire, but that is fine
if his guy doesn't want to talk. All
Cameron can do is cuddle with him while his guy cries. He cries till sleep
finally comes.
***
It's the day
next day around lunch time, and Cameron is home for lunch. Jamie has been at home taking care of
Princess and trying to relax. He also tried
to get with the counselor but gave up. He's been on the phone with the chief,
talked with some friends, and now that Cameron is home, he's going to speak
with his love. Cameron and Jamie are
sitting around chit-chatting when all of the sudden the tears start up
again. Cameron sets his sandwich down
and gets up to hug his babe. Jamie wipes
his face.
"Sorry Babe
for being such a baby. I just can't stop
thinking about..."
Jamie folds
his arms and puts his head down.
"I...I...keep
seeing those kids. They...were so young."
Cameron
doesn't know what to say, so he just gives his hunk, a kiss on the back of his
neck. Time is ticking and soon it will be time for Cameron to go back to
work. Work can wait, he is needed here.
"I'll be
right back. I'm going to call off for
the rest of the day."
Hearing that
makes Cam's boyfriend mad, his fist slams the table.
"NO, YOU
ARE..."
Jamie knows
what he's done. He gets up and heads
into the bedroom where he can hide away from Cameron. Jamie doesn't want to do something that he'll
regret. He's afraid of his emotions
getting the best of him.
"Jamie..."
Cameron says
with a soft voice hoping that he can get his guy to talk to him. He also doesn't want to push him. He just doesn't feel right leaving him. As he is about to call Courtney, Jamie's phone rings.
***
It's
Brayden. They talk small talk and then
Jamie looks at the door and there he sees Cameron. He smiles and it makes Cam feel weak in the
knees. Jamie pats the bed beside him.
"Hey buddy,
I know you are hurting."
Brayden
tells Jamie who is watching Cameron hoping he'll come sit with him. The other
guy in the house takes out his phone and points to it. Jamie nods his head.
"Yeah I
am. I can't sleep without seeing their
little faces. I am hurting dude. Today at lunch, Cameron told he was going to
call off for the rest of day, and I slammed the table with my fists and
yelled. I left the room..."
Brayden has
been there seeing the shadows of the fire, and knows what it's like to lose
kids. He's been there.
"I get it
dude, remember the big fire last year.
Yeah, I had to face the lose of kids."
It helps to
talk but it also hurts to talk. It
brings back the images from last night.
"I...I...remember. It just hurts."
Brayden
thinks back to that day and doesn't remember Jamie being at the fire, but he know that Jamie was aware of it.
"I know it
hurts, but it will get better."
He doesn't
want to hear that, he just wants to be loved. He wants
to know that what he did was enough.
Right now, it doesn't feel like it's enough. A part of him is thinking of leaving the
firehouse. Maybe, he can work at the
veterinary clinic.
"Listen to
me block-head, you didn't do anything wrong.
What happened to those kids was out of your control. I know it sucks hearing that, and I also know
you don't believe me. But it's the
truth."
Brayden is
right. Jamie doesn't want to hear it and
yet he's right. Jamie looks again to see
if his boyfriend is still there, but he's not and that hurts. At least Princess is here, and she isn't
budging. At some point, she will need to
go out for a walk. He just hopes that he
has the strength to do it. Because, right now he isn't sure that the strength
is in him. Just when he is ready to hang
up and try sleeping, Cameron walks into the bed in his briefs and lays down
next to him.
"UM...Brayden,
I need to go. Can we talk later?"
Brayden
isn't sure what's going on but if Jamie wants to talk later, then later it is.
"Okay, but
you'll call me if you need me?"
He isn't
about to abandon his friend.
"Yes, I will
call you."
Jamie says
as he looks at his boyfriend who is now cuddling up against his muscular frame.
"Bye Jamie!"
Jamie ends
the call and then looks at his boyfriend.
"I thought
you left for work?"
Jamie almost
looks a little sad.
"Are you
disappointed?"
Jamie smiles
and shakes his head after hearing Cam's question. He knows that the phone call he needed to
make was to Courtney saying that he was calling off. No doubt, he called off for the
afternoon. His boss went along with it
because she almost always goes along with his whims. Okay so maybe not all of them. Right now he feel so
good despite last night.
****
Jamie has
been by Cameron's side through many things.
Now, Cam has a chance to repay his love for being by his side all those
days and nights. Jamie is staring at this feet, when something comes out of his mouth that he
never intended for Cameron to hear.
"If I just
had more time, those kids...might be here today."
Cameron
wraps his boyfriend up in his arms and hugs him. He wants Jamie to feel every ounce of his
love. He hates to see his guy hurting so
badly.
"I know you;
and you did everthing you could to save those
kids. Now let them rest!"
Jamie knows
Cam is right but the pain is still there.
It comes back and whispers in Jamie's ears when Cameron isn't around and
that scares him.
"Cameron,
I'm glad you didn't go to work.
I...I...don't want to be alone."
Cameron
let's go of Jamie and looks at him with a surprised look in his eyes.
"You wanted
me to go to work, and now you don't want me to go."
Suddenly,
Jamie wants to punch a hole in the wall.
Out of nowhere,
Princess climbs up on the couch and rests her head on Jamie's
lap. Her simple act washes the anger out
of his body. His emotions are seen by
Cameron.
"Babe, maybe
we need to get out of the house."
Jamie
doesn't want to leave the house though and he begins to cry. Princess begins to cry with him. Cameron knows what Jamie needs and he may not
like it, but he knows they can't keep going like this forever.
****
Seeing the
rage build up in Jamie was kind of scary, even though it was nice to see it
leave his body, Cameron is still worried.
He's seen rage before in his past, and it's never ends well for
him. His timid nature makes him a target
for fists and abuse. He doesn't know how
Jamie will react to his words, but Jamie needs help.
"Jamie, I
want you to call the counselor. I'm
worried about you."
Jamie stares
at his phone.
"I'm worried
too. I could have punched a hole in the
wall just now."
Jamie looks
at his love and sees the fear in his eyes, and that is when he realizes what
fueled those words.
"I'll call;
I'll call right now."
He does as
he promised. They set up an appointment
for tomorrow. Cameron and Jamie take a
let out a sigh. Jamie takes a second to
retreat to the bathroom.
****
Jamie has
Courtney's phone number on his phone and he calls her. She is at lunch at the moment and sees his
number flash on the screen. Immediately,
the phone call is answered.
"Hey Jamie,
what's up?"
Jamie sits
silently for a just a second.
"The fire on
the news the other night...that...that was the call."
At first she didn't understand what he meant by his sentence,
but then it clicked. Jamie was with the
kids. The newsperson did mention that
kids were in the fire.
"I need a
favor."
She has been
grateful that Jamie took Cameron as a date and a boyfriend. It's been amazing to see Cameron's confidence
strength since that being with his boyfriend.
She would do anything for her friend.
"What do you
need?"
She asks
knowing that if it was in her power to do it, she would.
"I need
Cameron. Please don't fire him! Everytime, the house goes quiet or he's away from me, that
is when the images come back to me.
Please!"
Courtney
doesn't want to know what Jamie saw that night, but she knows if Jamie is
saying that he needs Cam, then he can have him.
It won't be forever. They can
survive a week without him.
"You can
have him. Hey, we have some puppies in
if you want to come down and play with
them. "
Jamie
considers it.
"That sounds
fun actually, I might take you up on that. Thanks Courtney! I need to run"
Jamie ends
the call and leaves the bathroom.
Courtney texts Cameron to give him time off to be with Jamie. She saw the news and put two and two together
or at least that is what she said. She
also said that they had someone dropped off puppies, and that maybe they might
want to come down and check out the puppies.
She even said that maybe Princess might want a playmate. When Jamie settled down on the couch, Cameron
showed him the text and the guys were all for it. They actually left to go to the pet hospital. For a good hour or two, Jamie sat amongst a
group of pitbull puppies just being a target of their
affections. When Jamie figured he it was
time to go home, Jamie
and Cameron did in fact come away with a puppy.
***
Jamie and
Cameron and the new puppy head home.
It's another female so they can avoid puppies themselves. When they get home
Jamie spends time playing with Princess while Cameron sneaks outside to call
Sophie.
"Hey Bro,
what's up?"
Cameron
looks arounds to make sure he is alone.
"Jamie is
hurting really bad right now. He got
called to a fire. The parents told them that there were kids in the one of the
bedrooms. By the time, they got to the
back bedroom it was too late. The fire
was so bad, they couldn't get to the kids.
Jamie was in the house, in the bedroom when the fire overtook them. He couldn't save the kids, and it's tearing
him up inside. I'm doing my best to keep
his head above water. I just hope that I'm enough."
Sophie was
stunned. She heard about the fire but
never imagined that Jamie was involved.
He should have called sooner.
"Do you guys
need anything? Like do you need me to
take Princess?"
Sophie wants
to get into the car and head out for Cameron's place. She stops herself though at least until she
hears from her brother.
"No, we are
fine. I mean for the most part. Jamie
comes and goes in his moods, but at least he has me and he's starting therapy
soon so that should help. Plus, we just
got a new dog; a little pit-bull. She is
going to be a beautiful dog."
Sophie wants
to see the dog but as she goes to ask if she can come over, her brother's phone
chimes alerting him to another call coming in, and he needs to answer it.
"I got to
let you go, Jamie's dad is calling."
Cameron ends
one call just to start another call.
"Hello Sir,
how can I help you?"
Jamie's dad
grunts a little at being called sir
"Cameron, you
don't have to call me "Sir". You and my
son are dating now so you can call me Michael.
Now, how is my son doing? I tried
to call but the phone seems to be off."
Cameron smiles at the thought of calling
Jamie's dad Michael.
"Jamie has
his moments to be honest, right now he seems to be doing okay. But If I go to
work, then he says that his mind wonders and he can't shake the images
away. I snuck outside to call my sister,
while he was busy playing with Princess. He did go with me to work to play with
some little puppies. We even picked up a
puppy for to keep Princess company."
Jamie's dad
sighs. He's worried for his son in much
the same way that Cameron is worried for his guy. Everyone in his life is worried about Jamie.
"Keep me
informed! You don't need to let Jamie know
that I called. I will try calling
tomorrow. Goodbye Son!"
Being called
Son, sends a chill down Cameron's back, but he likes it nevertheless. Their call ends and Cameron heads back to see
Jamie.
***
He finds
Jamie on the couch with Princess on the curled up next to him. Cameron climbs up on the couch. He sits next to Jamie and cuddles up next to
him. He wants Jamie to find his light
again. Something has to change for his
babe. He kisses his boyfriend and then takes his hand and together they curl up
on the couch. He hates to see him
hurting so much. Cameron wraps his arms
around his Jamie's body as best he can.
"I love you
Jamie!"
Cameron says
to his love. Jamie smiles at him. He doesn't answer but he does wrap his arms
around Cameron, and they fall to sleep on the couch. Jamie is content at the moment. Content to just lay here and relax.
***
Jamie wakes
up first from their nap. Not wanting to
wake up Cameron, he sits there. Quietly
reflecting on, where he sees the two of them in just a few years. He sees them married. With the two dogs at their side, he sees them
still living in this house. A house that
is just large enough to house a couple kids.
Yes kids, Jamie despite everything wants kids. He knows he'll over come this pain that he
finds himself in at the moment. He also
knows that Cameron will find the strength to overcome the attack that has him
paralyzed at times. Jamie just wants to
cuddle up next to his babe and sleep some more.
If he can.
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