From: elf@coho.halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg) Newsgroups: alt.sex,alt.sex.wizards Subject: The alt.sex FAQ, Part 1: ALT.SEX: A USER'S MANUAL Date: 23 Jul 1996 19:07:36 GMT Organization: Northwest Nexus Inc. Originator: superdj@marge.cs.mcgill.ca (David Johnson) Moderator: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg) Archive-name: alt-sex/faq/part01 ALT.SEX: USER'S MANUAL alt.sex policies and guidelines What this FAQ covers: 1. User's Manual alt.sex policies and guidelines Posting ettiquete Posting stories Posting erotic pictures Posting advertisements Lists, and "me too" messages. Sending email to women readers of alt.sex. "Wannafucks" Accessing the FAQ Other sexually-oriented material available on the Internet Other alt.sex.* newsgroups Other sex and relationship oriented newsgroups Sex and relationship oriented mailing lists. Where to find items of common interest. Where to find sexually-oriented fiction on the Internet. Where to find sexually-oriented images on the Internet. Where to find purity tests Where to find .signature codes 2. Commonly used terms and acronyms about sex and alt.sex Common Terms Common Acronyms 3. The Sexual Anatomy of Men. The Penis and Scrotum. Male external genitalia Vocabulary of the penis and scrotum Male Internal Sexual Anatomy Frequently answered questions What's the average size of the penis? What are the extremes? Is penis size important? Can penis size be increased? How do I measure my penis? My penis bends down (or left, or right). Is something wrong with it? What is circumcision and why is it done? What are blue balls? Why is the prostate mentioned in discussions of anal sex? 4. The Sexual Anatomy Of Women External View: The Vulva What is a hymen? Female Internal Sexual Anatomy Frequently Answered Questions What is the G-Spot? What is Toxic Shock Syndrome 5. Having S-E-X for the first time, for both of you. For both partners: How do I have "good" sex? What time should we have sex? Should we eat or drink anything before sex? Where should we have sex? What do we need to bring? For her: What do I do first? Will it hurt? What position should I use? For him: What if I can't get it up? Should I tell her if I'm a virgin? Will we come at the same time? What if I orgasm too soon? Am I big enough? Too big? The right shape? Will I be a good lover? 6. Better sex Sexual Positions Man on top. Woman on top. Sitting. Standing. Side-by-side Rear-entry When should we have sex? Where should we have sex? What about the shower? And outdoors? Are there any dangers? 7. Cunnilingus - Oral sex upon a vulva What is cunnilingus? How fast should I go? I've heard cunnilingus doesn't taste good. What about cunnilingus during menstruation? 8. Fellatio - Oral sex upon a penis What is Fellatio? What if it doesn't smell or taste good? What is "deep throating?" Are there any special spots on the penis? Should I use my hands? What is 69? My boyfriend wants me to swallow. What do I do? Can I make my seminal fluids taste better? What are the contents of semen? 9. Anal Intercourse and Analingus Why would anyone want to have anal sex? What is analingus? Does anal sex hurt? Can anal sex actually give pleasure? What do I need to have anal sex? Do I have to use a condom? I'm worried that anal sex will be messy. How do we prepare for anal sex? What position should we use for anal sex? Can I get pregnant from anal sex? What if I don't like it? 10. Toys for the Bedroom (and other places) What is a "sex toy?" What is a vibrator? What different kinds of vibrator are there? Penis-shaped Wand, or coil-type vibrators Handle-type vibrators The Shower Massage Which kind is best? Where do I go to buy a vibrator? What should I know about using a vibrator? Are there any kinds of vibrators I should avoid? My girlfriend and I have never used a vibrator. What should I know? Can I be replaced by a vibrator? Do vibrators cause a woman to become less sensitive? Are there any dangers in using a vibrator? What is a dildo? What should I look for in buying a dildo? What is a "butt plug?" What variants of the butt-plug are there? What is a cock ring? How do you put on a cock ring? What is Spanish Fly? What is the "Spanish Fly" sold in America? What is a "sex lube?" What is sexual lubricant made of? What brands are there? Which is best? Is clothing a "sex toy?" What is "Fetish Clothing?" What *is* sexy clothing? Food is sexy? What kinds of food are sexy? How can you use food in the bedroom? Can drugs make sex better? Alcohol. Amyl Nitrite, "Rush" Cocaine. Marijuana. LSD-25. 11. Common Legal Questions U.S. Sodomy Laws, by state (changed this version) U.S. Ages of Consent, by state (changed this version) 12. Contraception What are the various methods of contraception and their effectiveness rates? Associated Risk statistics with Contraception Common Methods of Contraception Diaphragm Reality, The Female Condom The Morning After Pill (new this version) Condoms 13. Sexually Transmitted Diseases HIV / AIDS Gonorrhea Syphilis Gential Warts and Human Papilloma Virus Genital Herpes, HSV Crabs, Pubic Lice Nonspecific Urethritis (NSU) or Nongonoccal Urethritis (NGU) Hepatitis B POSTING ETTIQUETE In theory, there are no policies and guidelines for using alt.sex. It is an unmoderated alt group, and therefore nobody exerts any control at all over it. It exists at the whim of the people who post to it. alt.sex will only remain a reasonably "civil" place if you want it to.Sexuality is always a touchy subject, and when someone wishes to discuss their own sexuality, please do not immediately flame them if their tastes don't match yours. Do as Emily Postnews recommends: stand up, take a deep breath, and relax. If you must reply, consider using the mail first. POSTING STORIES There has always been some debate as to whether or not posting stories on alt.sex is appropriate. Prior to the creation of alt.sex.stories, alt.sex was the only place find and post erotica. There are two camps of thought: one, that alt.sex.stories is a place for people who are looking only for stories, but that posting them to alt.sex is fine, and two, that alt.sex.stories is intended to remove all stories from alt.sex. alt.sex is a general-purpose newsgroup for sexual discussion. Posting of stories isn't disallowed, although you may encounter strong discouragment from some quarters if you do. POSTING EROTIC PICTURES Don't. Just don't. Unlike stories, pornographic pictures are strictly forbidden from alt.sex. There are newsgroups appropriate to the posting of binaries, including the alt.pictures.binaries.erotica newsgroups. The reasons are simple: Although a picture may tell a thousand words, even using JPEG they take up a lot more disk space. So don't. If you insist on posting pictures to alt.sex, odds are the volume of complaint mail to your sysadmin will reach deafening proportions, and in the meantime you may well encourage some sysadmins to remove a newsgroup they're already uncomfortable with. That said, there are some images permitted even here. In the era of the Information Superhighway, small images (less than 320x200 pixels, for example) of contraceptive devices and other objects will go a long way towards eradicating the well-meaning but still crude attempts of ASCII artists. Future editions of the FAQ will include small B&W GIFS of a condom, diaphragm, sponge, female condom, and related materials, barring any major objections. POSTING ADVERTISEMENTS Advertising is not permitted on alt.sex. Alt.sex is for the discussion of human sexuality and attempts to do so in a mature and adult fashion. The rash of advertisements for products, services, and phone sex lines, has turned alt.sex into a sort of dumping ground. This is not how it should be. There is a newsgroup, alt.sex.marketplace, where advertisers can go and freely extoll the wares, and where those interested in purchasing sex can view a constantly-changing catalog at will. If you intend to advertise a sexual product, do so in alt.sex.marketplace. Advertising of non-sex-based products is not permitted anywhere in alt.sex. LISTS OF FTP SITES AND "ME TOO" MESSAGES. There are no valid lists of FTP, WWW, or other sites of sexually explicit materials. Simple math will tell you why: There are half a million people on alt.sex. The average FTP or WWW site can handle 5 new connections simultaneously. If 1%, or 50,000, of the people on alt.sex paid attention to a list of sites, those sites (and many of their neighboring sites) would become destructively overloaded and unable to function within a day. Several pranksters have posted messages claiming that they would mail you a list of such sites if you post the message "me too" to an alt.sex newsgroup. This is only a prank-- and one that has caused great frustration, flooding this newsgroup with messages from that mis-informed 1%. If there are FTP or WWW sites with extensive pornographic libraries, they are a closely guarded secret known only a few. Often they are protected with passwords that change on a regular basis. And when word does leak out, these sites quickly disappear under the massive demands of a voracious and unrelenting population. For this reason, you will not find and should not expect to find any useful information on this subject here in alt.sex. SENDING EMAIL TO WOMEN READERS OF ALT.SEX. "WANNAFUCKS" Probably the most common complaints heard on alt.sex are: From men: "There aren't enough women on here!" From women: "Every time I post, I get a ton of email from clueless net geeks looking to get laid!" We hope you see the connection. The 'Wannafuck' (as in "Your post sounded really hot. Wanna get together and fuck?") seems to be endemic to alt.sex. Before you write any email, think about what you're going to say.Don't say something you wouldn't say in person.Just because a woman admits she likes sex doesn't mean she wants to have it with you, and you shouldn't assume otherwise. Making alt.sex a safe place for men *and* women should be a top priority of anyone who wants to talk about sex in an honest and open manner. ACCESSING THE FAQ First of all, look for it in alt.sex, news.answers, alt.answers If you can't find it there, you can find the (hopefully) latest version via ftp at: ftp://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/alt-sex If you can't do or don't know about ftp: there's also a mail server on that machine. Just send an e-mail message to: mail- server@rtfm.mit.edu containing the word "help" in the body of the message. The alt.sex FAQ is also available via gopher and the WWW at the following locations: gopher://quartz.ruters.edu/sex/alt-sex-faq gopher://gopher.isnet.is/usenet/Frequently Asked Questions/alt-sex-faq http://www.cis.ohio-state.edu/hypertext/faq/usenet/alt-sex/top.html http://www.halcyon.com/elf/altsex/asfaq_header.html OTHER SEXUALLY-ORIENTED MATERIAL AVAILABLE ON THE INTERNET OTHER ALT.SEX.* NEWSGROUPS This list is accurate as of the release date for this FAQ.Some newsgroups have been culled from this list due to a lack of traffic on them.And just because a newsgroup is on this list doesn't mean it will be available at all sites. alt.sex itself is available at only 3/4 of the sites in the world, after all. alt.sex Postings of a prurient nature. alt.sex.anal Sexual acts involving the anus. alt.sex.bears Hairy homosexual men. alt.sex.bestiality Happiness is a warm puppy. alt.sex.bestiality.barney For people with big, purple newt fetishes. alt.sex.bondage Tie me, whip me, make me read the net! alt.sex.breast Discussions about female breasts - big and small. alt.sex.cthulhu It's amazing what tentacles can do. alt.sex.enemas Cleansing the bowels as an erotic act. alt.sex.erotica.marketplace The business of sex. alt.sex.exhibitionism So you want to be a star. alt.sex.fat Rollin' with the rolly polly. alt.sex.femdom Discussions about female dominant relationships. alt.sex.fetish.amputee Sexual attraction to missing body parts. alt.sex.fetish.diapers They're dry and secure all day, too. alt.sex.fetish.fa Rollin' with the rolly polly. alt.sex.fetish.fashion Rubber, leather, chains, and other fetish clothing. alt.sex.fetish.feet Kiss them. Now. alt.sex.fetish.hair Hair, hair, everywhere. Palms even. alt.sex.fetish.orientals The mysteries of Asia are a potent lure. alt.sex.fetish.robots This is for you robot types. alt.sex.fetish.sportswear For those with a fetish about sports clothes. alt.sex.fetish.startrek Illogical yet fascinating Star Trek lust. alt.sex.fetish.tickling Laughter is the best foreplay. alt.sex.fetish.trent-reznor Trent "NIN" Reznor's screaming slaves. alt.sex.fetish.watersports They don't mean hottub polo. alt.sex.first-time What was your first time like? alt.sex.girl.watchers Like alt.sex.voyeurism, only different. alt.sex.guns Fuel for the pornography-incites-violence debate. alt.sex.hello-kitty Why are there so few, hot, exhibitionist, S&M pussies? alt.sex.homosexual Homosexual relations. alt.sex.intergen Robbing the cradle and the grave. alt.sex.magazines Discussions of magazines with sticky pages. alt.sex.marketplace Fucking is legal! Selling is legal! Why isn't selling fucking legal? alt.sex.masturbation Where one's SO is oneself. alt.sex.motss Jesse Helms would not subscribe to this group. alt.sex.movies Discussing the ins and outs of certain movies. alt.sex.necrophilia Dead people as stimulus. alt.sex.pedophilia Discussing the issues around attraction to children. alt.sex.plushies Plush Sex: Strategically Placed Holes. alt.sex.services The oldest profession. alt.sex.sounds Noises from the heat of passion. alt.sex.spanking Bondage for beginners. alt.sex.stories For those who need it *NOW*. alt.sex.stories.d For those who talk about needing it *NOW*. alt.sex.strip-clubs Discussion of strip clubs, exotic dancers, etc. alt.sex.telephone Discussion of phone sex services. alt.sex.voxmeet Relations arising from voxmeets. alt.sex.voyeurism A lot of lurkers in this group. alt.sex.wanted Requests for erotica, either literary or in the flesh. alt.sex.watersports Not quite co-ed naked water polo. alt.sex.wizards Questions for only true sex wizards. OTHER SEX AND RELATIONSHIP ORIENTED NEWSGROUPS This list is accurate as of this release of the FAQ.The inclusion of certain newsgroups (alt.politics.homosexuality, soc.feminism, talk.rape) is intended to point out that for certain topics that have a habit of showing up in alt.sex there are newsgroups better suited.Clari.* newsgroups are available only to paying subscribers. alt.amazon-women.admirers Worshiping women you have to look up to. alt.binaries.multimedia.erotica Moving copyright violations... alt.binaries.pictures.erotica Gigabytes of copyright violations. alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.amateur.d Discussions about... alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.amateur.female alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.amateur.male alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.anal alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.anime alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.autos alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bestiality alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bestiality.hamster.duct-tape alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bestiality.hamster.duct-tape.d alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.black.females alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.black.male alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.blondes alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bondage alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.breasts alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.cartoons alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.cheerleaders alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.d alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.female alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.female.anal alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.furry alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.gaymen alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.kwakiutl alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.latina alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.male alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.male.anal alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.orientals alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.pornstar alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.pregnant alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.redheads alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.spatch alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.teen alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.teen.d alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.teen.female alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.teen.male alt.binaries.sounds.erotica alt.personals Do you really want to meet someone this way? alt.personals.ads Geek seeks Dweeb.Object: low-level interfacing. alt.personals.bi Personals by or seeking bisexuals. alt.personals.bondage Are you tied up this evening? alt.personals.big-folks Rolling with love! alt.personals.fat Rolling with love! alt.personals.misc Dweeb seeks Geek.Object: low-level interfacing. alt.personals.poly Hi there, do you multiprocess? alt.personals.spanking Oedipus gives this group a thumbs up. alt.politics.homosexuality Flames about gays and gay rights. alt.politics.sex Not a good idea to mix them, sez Marilyn & Profumo. alt.polyamory A newsgroup for people with multiple lovers. alt.religion.sexuality The politics of sexuality and religion. alt.romance Discussion about the romantic side of love. alt.romance.chat Talk about no sex. alt.romance.unhappy alt.angst on the run. alt.supermodels Discussing famous & beautiful models. clari.news.crime.sex Sex crimes, child pornography.(Moderated) clari.news.gays Homosexuality and gay rights.(Moderated) clari.news.sex Sexual issues and news of sexuality.(Moderated) clari.news.women Women's issues: sexism, harassment.(Moderated) rec.arts.erotica Erotic fiction and verse.(Moderated) soc.bi Discussions of bisexuality. soc.couples Discussions for couples (cf.soc.singles). soc.couples.intercultural Inter-cultural and inter-racial relationships. soc.feminism Discussion of feminism & feminist issues.(Moderated) soc.men Issues related to men, their problems & relationships. soc.misc Socially-oriented topics not in other groups. soc.motss Issues pertaining to homosexuality. soc.singles Newsgroup for single people, their activities, etc. soc.women Issues related to women, their problems & relationships. talk.abortion All sorts of discussions and arguments on abortion. talk.rape Discussions on stopping rape; not to be crossposted. SEX AND RELATIONSHIP ORIENTED MAILING LISTS. This list is by NO means complete, being just a short culling of the Publicly Accessible Mailing List, available on news.lists.It is strongly recommended that you read the PAML and find those mailing lists that are appropriate to your needs. Amazons International Contact: amazons-request@math.uio.no (Thomas Gramstad) Amazons International is an electronic digest newsletterfor and about Amazons (physically and psychologically strong assertive women who are not afraid to break free from traditional ideas about gender roles, femininity and the female physique) and their friends and lovers.Amazons International is dedicated to the image of the female hero in fiction and in fact, as it is expressed in art and literature, in the physiques and feats of female athletes, in sexual values and practices, and provides information, discussion and a supportive environment for these values and issues.Gender role traditionalists and others who are opposed to Amazon ideals should not subscribe. bears Contact: bears-request@spdcc.COM (Steve Dyer & Brian Gollum) Mail.bears is a mailing list in digest format for gay and bisexual men who are bears themselves and for those who enjoy the company of bears. The exact definition of a "bear" seems to be a personal one, but it encompasses men who are variously cuddly, furry, perhaps stocky, or bearded. Mail.bears is designed to be a forum to bring together folks with similar interests for conversation, friendship and sharing of experiences.The tone of mail.bears will be determined by its members, but people uncomfortable with discussing sexually explicit topics via electronic mail should not subscribe. Bisexu-L Contact: LISTSERV@BROWNVM.BROWN.EDU (Bill Sklar) For discussion of issues of bisexuality.Cordial and civilized exchange of relevant ideas, opinions and experiences between members of all orientations is encouraged - we do not discriminate on the basis of orientation, religion, gender, race, etc. BitNet users can subscribe by sending the following command to LISTSERV@BROWVM: SUBSCRIBE BISEXU-L your_full_name where "your_full_name" is your real name, not your login Id.Internet users can subscribe by sending the above command in the text/body of a message to LISTSERV@BROWNVM.BROWN.EDU. cd-forum Contact: cd-request@valis.biocad.com (Valerie) To provide support/discuss/share experiences about gender related issues; Crossdressing, Transvestism, Transsexualism, etc. This list is in Digest Format. genderContact: ericg@indiana.edu (Eric Garrison) Mail.gender is a list created for the purpose of discussing gender issues.The intent is to provide an open-minded forum for discussion of gender stereotypes vs.individuality, gender roles and particularly how people can get beyond these restrictions.Any related topic is fair game: I won't presume to dictate the subject matter of the list, I want everyone on the list to do that. Anonymous "posting" is available. To join, mail ericg@indiana.edu with "add me mail.gender" in the subject line. gl-asb Contact: MAJORDOMO@QUEERNET.ORG (Roger B.A.Klorese) The "gl-asb" list is a discussion list for discussion of bondage and SM topics for gay men and lesbians.It is intended to provide a forum for discussion and stories with an atmosphere of gay and lesbian culture perceived by some as being less prevalent in the alt.sex.bondage news group than they wish. The "gl-asb" list is administered with the assistance of an automated mailing list server called "Majordomo" written by Brent Chapman.In order to be added to the list, please send a message to one of the following addresses: majordomo@queernet.org !unpc!majordomo (if you support only UUCP paths) with the following content in the message: subscribe gl-asb end Any administrative questions should be addressed to: gl-asb-approval@queernet.org!unpc!gl-asb- approval(if you support only UUCP paths) WHERE TO FIND SEXUALLY-ORIENTED FICTION ON THE INTERNET. If you are just looking for stories in general, check the newsgroups alt.sex.stories and rec.arts.erotica FIRST.Many stories are also cross-posted to alt.sex. As for story archives, well, there used to be a few. Unfortunately, due to misuse by people, they are no longer around.In this section we used to mention a couple but they both shut down for the same reasons: irresponsible, immature, and greedy users over-used their services. When people misuse a service offered to them that service generally shuts down. Therefore, there are currently no known ftp sites for stories or rec.arts.erotica.If any site ever dares to try to set up a ftp story archive again people should definitely learn to respect the system that is offering the archive and respect the wishes of the archive's maintainers. There is a mail-server for alt.sex.bondage and alt.sex.stories right now, but that service won't last long if it is misused. Don't try to get the whole archive in one night! The easiest way to use the mail- server is to read the rest of this section and then send email to server@hermes.acm.rpi.edu with the word help as the first and only word in the body of the message and no subject. Scanning the subject line will be discontinued. The server administrator is currently over a year behind in moving stories into the server.He is (or will be) including alt.sex.bondage, alt.sex.stories, and rec.arts.erotica. He is archiving stories and articles that he believes to be of general interest. Anonymous ftp is not available to this machine and is NOT planned. If you have any questions or problems with the server, send email to server-admin@hermes.acm.rpi.edu. If you have trouble getting email to that address, try multics%acm.rpi.edu@rpi.edu. Privacy/system logs: The server logs all incoming requests and all responses. This information is retained for a few days before being deleted. The adminstrator normally check the logs at least once a day to try and find any server bugs/problems as early as possible. He doesn't care who you are or where you are unless you are extremely greedy in accessing the server. WHERE TO FIND SEXUALLY-ORIENTED IMAGES ON THE INTERNET. The newsgroups of the alt.binaries.pictures.* (like a.b.p.erotica) are your best bet for X- and R-rated GIFs and binary pictures in other formats. For pictures more along the line of swimsuit models, check out wuarchive.wustl.edu via anonymous FTP, in graphics/gif. The images are arranged alphabetically. Don't abuse the ftp service or it won't be here next month. Also in alt.binaries.pictures.erotica are often binary movies in various formats. Read the alt.binaries.pictures.* FAQs for more info. Due to the nature of Usenet, most pictures come in an UUENCODED format as well, and how to decode such pictures is also covered in the alt.binaries.pictures FAQ. There is also a list of BBS' containing adult GIF files.The list is posted to alt.bbs.lists and alt.sex periodically.There are several hundred BBSs listed. WHERE TO FIND PURITY TESTS "Purity tests" are various text documents floating about the Internet intended to test how pure and innocent, or conversly, how feelthy- minded and perverse, you are. There are many versions, and this FAQ used to list all of them.However, with the growth of Internet resources it's become impossible to track them, and the FAQ can only recommend that you read a few of them and enjoy them. If you have access to FTP, Gopher, or the World Wide Web, the purity tests can be found at the following locations: ftp://quartz.rutgers.edu/pub/purity ftp://beech.cic.net/pub/ETEXT/pub/Quartz/purity gopher://lancelot.cif.rochester.edu/11/Lots%20of%20Purity%20Tests gopher://gopher.ocf.berkeley.edu/11/ftp/purity The editor of the FAQ personally prefers the 500 question Yale/Dartmouth Purity Test as being the most comprehensive without being too repetitive. No one purity test can cover everything or satisfy everybody. SIGNATURE CODES Signature codes are those funny strings of characters frequently found in people's Usenet .sigs which look sort-of like a PGP code gone berserk. Many of these can be found at the same sites as the purity tests. -- Elf Sternberg I'm not inclined to write pompous elf@halcyon.com books about unanswerable questions. Public key available That strikes me as a tremendous waste http://www.halcyon.com/elf of time. - Stephen Jay Gould