Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2023 23:05:48 +0000 From: manbearlover Subject: Sharing My John This is a story about sex between consenting men. You've been warned. There's also a fair amount of objectifying black bodies in this story. I apologize for that, but it is a crucial element to what's going on here. Lastly, this story is about my emotions and journey to understanding love better. It just happens to have erotic elements to it that I've shot buckets of cum thinking about. John was my boyfriend for 3 years, he was the first man I dated, and I had maybe a handful of first dates before falling in love with him. He was 12 years older than me, had a boyish sweet face, was very overweight, he was very submissive to me, he had a small boy penis. He rarely talked about sex due to religious hangups. I've got a pretty nice cock, 6-7 inches, nothing special, but John worships it. He loves having me in his hole, and boy do I love breeding him. I pretend that I'm a big daddy with a huge hulking cock and he's my boy, I use his hole to please myself and inseminate him whenever I want. I got really into the idea of owning and possessing John, he only took my dick because I owned him. Somehow this became the fantasy. Because John and I didn't share many hobbies or interests, sex was most of what we had keeping us together. It fueled my love for him. Along the way, I got a little self-conscious about my size and if I could really please him. I didn't have a small penis, but his friends would tell me stories about him getting railed by huge black marines. I felt so inadequate compared to a hulking 10 inch black monster cock that I imagined him taking. His boy hole getting stretched so wide as a massive black monster pounded him and fat balls slapped against his ass aroused me so much I couldn't even bare to think of it. I'd shut down, get flustered, and upset. But the idea was so tantalizing for me - I didn't realize how much I wanted it until I was ready to leave. In retrospect, I think the thought of John taking a beercan thick circumcised penis up his tight, sloppy, hairy bear hole, would mean he didn't love or need me. If my love language was breeding John, and he started getting his holes filled by hung twinks, then what purpose did I serve? Was I not loved anymore? Was I just replaceable? Eventually we opened up the relationship, for reasons I didn't quite understand. We'd still play together, and we'd go to this seedy korean sauna in the town over. Everyone was there for sex, guys would be grinning ear to ear in the parking lot, just so happy to unload their balls and get on their merry way. All the action happened in the steam room, it got foggy so the employees couldn't see what was happening. Someone would start stroking, then we'd all start jerking off, then hands would move to other cocks, and mouths, in minutes everyone was spunking off. I was always very timid in these situations, always last to start stroking. John was always jerking off before anyone else was. We were sat a few men apart, and the sauna was filled with black men this time. They had big fat low hanging cocks, they were teasing them with a stroke here and there. The room was ready to burst into a circle jerk. I watched John as he drooled and stared at the many inches of man meat dripping with sweat in the steam room. Before I knew it, we were all stroking, I was jacking my boy cock while all the big men around me stroked theirs. I was fixated on John and what he was doing. He was sat between two big black men, 6 feet 2 easily. Their cocks were circumcised but so big - at least 8 inchers and 4 inches around. John has a really small cock, maybe 3 inches with ample foreskin. But he was eager to play with the big man cocks around him. He took his hand off his boy cock and grabbed one of the pieces of black meat next to him and started moving it up and down. Pangs of pleasure ran through my nervous system to my cock as I saw him grab the obscenely large member. Was my penis even half as thick as the one in John's hand? I half hoped the man didn't like John's touch. Heat filled my body and blood rushed to my cock, seeing my submissive boyfriend's small white hand please that man's big cock. John's hand had milked hundreds of loads out of me, and there it was seeking other bigger cocks out, that made mine look small and boylike. John was made to please men, he was just an eager little boy wanting to touch every cock he could. A few minutes later, he leaned over to his right and took the other cock next to him into this mouth, he gripped it with his chubby fingers and tried to take as much into his throat as he could. Seeing John take another man's cock into his mouth was particularly conflicting for me. John was not very into giving oral. He'd suck on my cock for 15-30 seconds then take it out and say "it's too big." I asked him for a blow job where I finish in his mouth for my birthday, and I never got one. But here I was seeing him stretch his lips around a fat purple cock head, moving further down to squeeze this stranger's wide shaft. My boy's tongue, which I french kiss with regularly, was lapping away at the man's steel hard cock, eager to suck up precum. What would my friends or family say if they knew my boyfriend wouldn't give me a blow job, but was eagerly servicing a man twice my size with his mouth? I felt so ashamed and small, but also very excited seeing John's head bob up and down on another man. I was relieved when he pulled off without a mouth full of cum. But if I could do it again, I would have leaned into the scene harder. Grabbed John off the Sauna bench and put him on his knees on the Sauna floor. I would have kissed the back of his neck, as he looked up at two semi-erect hulking black cocks, pulsing at his every glance. Two black men looking down at my fat white boyfriend with a young face, their hearts pounding as his fingers wrapped around their shaft and started to play with this big man cocks. John would feel safe and at ease as he shed his inhibitions, staring mouth agape at the growing members in front of him. The world was just him and two big growing penises in his hand. John's head would swivel from one to the other as he appreciated the veins, the length, and the power these large cocks held over him. The rest of the room knew these precious moments were scarce. The door could open any second now, and the party would be over, we only have this moment right now. I realize I'm a few strokes away from bursting, I take my hand off myself and soak in the scene in front of me. Men of all shapes, sizes, and colors were throwing their heads back, pulling away at their penises. There was a chorus of skin slapping against skin and deep low breaths. Men were kissing men, staring at each other through the steam, eyes locked on each other's bodies. It was a purely primal masculine scene, every man there for the same thing, to appreciate the male form in the way they best knew how - with their hands and mouths. I noticed a balding man with a long uncut walk over to John, he's jacking himself off, I can see flashes of his shiny pink cockhead between fast panting strokes. "Look over here boy," he says. John tears his eyes off his prizes and immediately ropes of hot cum land on his face. "That's a good boy... you like having daddy's cum on you don't you," as he pressed his throbbing cock head into John's cheek. Realizing this moment won't last, John dives his mouth onto the black dick in his left hand. He can barely breath from the excitement, it's been years since he's taken one this big in his mouth. I watch in confused agony, as the man grab John's head and starts thrusting himself into his mouth. At first he enjoyed my boyfriend's soft lips, rubbing his purple helmet just past them as John made a tight "O" shape with his mouth. "You like that big dick boy, don't you?" "You like being submissive to men with big penises?" "Flbub-Yes-bulbfl-sir," John managed to say while massaging the man's bellend with his lips. I scoop some of the dripping cum off of John's face, and slip two fingers in his hole. I want to comfort and soothe my submissive boy as he gives in to another man's carnal desires. Big dark hands gripped John's face, as the man attached to his beloved penis stood up and started fucking into his throat. I pushed my fingers deeper into John's hole, and reached around to grab his boy dick. I wanted to distract John from the discomfort of getting face fucked with some pleasure. My balls erupted as I watched the obscenely large black cock dive in and out of my boyfriend's mouth, with more spit and fluids running off it with each stroke. John was eagerly wanting to take more, he'd do anything in that moment for that man. I'm still fixated on the good work my boyfriend's mouth is doing for this nice man we just met. Puffy cheeks huffing, his narrow pink tongue darting out as the eight inch monster withdraws from his mouth. Just as I thought I could get used to watching this for hours, the steam room door opens. I turn my head to see who it is and look back and John's face is covered in man cream, and he's licking it off his black dom's tool. Later that night at a Korean BBQ place I ask John, "What was your favorite part?" "Being there with you," he replied sheepishly. "What did it taste like?" I asked, getting aroused remembering the scene. "What did what taste like?" John asked sheepishly. "You had lots of different things in your mouth tonight, which was your favorite?" I said, prying, hoping to connect with John over a shared interest. "The Bulgogi is pretty good!" he said dodging the question, to my dismay. Thank you for reading. I'm open to feedback and conversations with others over email.